Forgiveness Instruments
Finkel; Rusbult; Kumashiro; Hannon.2002
ابزارهای بخشش و گذشت
بخش نخست
Own forgiveness
How I React When My Partner Breaks the Rules: Part 1
All of us have expectations about how our partners should treat us. No matter how well-behaved your partner may be in general‚ from time to time he or she is likely to violate your expectations‚ or “break the rules.” Below‚ we list “rule breaking” incidents that are relatively common in marriage. Use the following scale to indicate how you typically react to each type of incident. (If you’ve never experienced a given incident‚ please indicate how you think you would react.)
I Never Do This=0‚ 1‚ I Seldom Do This=2‚ 3‚ I Sometimes Do This= 4‚ 5‚ I Frequently Do This= 6‚ 7‚ I Constantly Do This= 8
_____ 1) When my partner lies to me about something‚ I feel so angry I storm out of the room.
_____ 2) When my partner makes fun of me‚ I talk to my partner about why this is upsetting.
_____ 3) When I think my partner is attracted to another person‚ I tend to avoid dealing with the situation.
_____ 4) When my partner embarrasses me in front of others‚ I simply forgive and forget.
_____ 5) When I think my partner might be interested in someone else romantically‚ I usually talk to my partner about what’s going on‚ trying to work out a solution.
_____ 6) In a disagreement with a third person‚ when my partner takes the other person’s side‚ I often get away and do something else for a while.
_____ 7) When my partner says something that hurts me badly‚ I usually hang in there and wait for my partner’s mood to change – these times pass.
_____ 8) When my partner flirts with someone else‚ I speak harshly to my partner.
_____ 9) When my partner forgets something that’s important to me‚ I calmly remind him/her.
_____ 10) When my partner tells someone information I wanted to remain private‚ I tend to sulk and try to stay away from my partner.
_____ 11) When I have reason to think my partner is interested in someone else‚ I usually remain loyal and wait for things to get better.
_____ 12) When my partner tells others about private issues in our marriage‚ I typically say something really nasty to him/her.
_____ 13) When my partner says something hurtful behind my back‚ I typically try to patch things up and solve the problem.
_____ 14) When my partner discloses secrets to someone other than me‚ I typically give my partner the benefit of the doubt and forget about it.
_____ 15) When my partner is impatient when I’m talking‚ I typically spend less time with him/her.
_____ 16) When my partner fails to support me when I’m upset‚ I say something unpleasant.
How My Partner Reacts When I Break the Rules: Part 1
All of us have expectations about how our partners should treat us. No matter how well-behaved you may be in general‚ from time to time you are likely to violate your partner’s expectations‚ or “break the rules.” Below‚ we list “rule breaking” incidents that are relatively common in marriage. Use the following scale to indicate how your partner typically reacts to each type of incident. (If you’ve never experienced a given incident‚ please indicate how you think your partner would react.)
Partner Never Does This=0‚ 1‚ Partner Seldom Does This=2‚ 3‚ Partner Sometimes Does This= 4‚ 5‚ Partner Frequently Does This= 6‚ 7‚ Partner Constantly Does This= 8
_____ 1) When I lie to my partner about something‚ my partner feels so angry he/she storms out of the room.
_____ 2) When I make fun of my partner‚ he/she talks to me about why this is upsetting.
_____ 3) When my partner thinks I’m attracted to another person‚ he/she tends to avoid dealing with the situation.
_____ 4) When I embarrass my partner in front of others‚ he/she simply forgives and forgets.
_____ 5) When my partner thinks I might be interested in someone else romantically‚ he/she usually talks to me about what’s going on‚ trying to work out a solution.
_____ 6) In a disagreement with a third person‚ when I take the other person’s side‚ my partner often gets away and does something else for awhile.
_____ 7) When I say something that hurts my partner badly‚ he/she usually hangs in there and waits for my mood to change – these times pass.
_____ 8) When I flirt with someone else‚ my partner speaks harshly to me.
_____ 9) When I forget something that’s important to my partner‚ he/she calmly reminds me.
_____ 10) When I tell someone information my partner wanted to remain private‚ my partner tends to sulk and try to stay away from me.
_____ 11) When my partner has reason to think I’m interested in someone else‚ he/she usually remains loyal and waits for things to get better.
_____ 12) When I tell others about private issues in our marriage‚ my partner typically says something really nasty to me.
_____ 13) When I say something hurtful behind my partner’s back‚ he/she typically tries to patch things up and solve the problem.
_____ 14) When I disclose secrets to someone other than my partner‚ he/she typically gives me the benefit of the doubt and forgets about it.
_____ 15) When I am impatient when my partner is talking‚ he/she typically spends less time with me.
_____ 16) When I fail to support my partner when he/she is upset‚ my partner says something unpleasant.
________ hours per month‚ on average
نمره گذاری بخش یکم: دو فرم بالا ، موازی هستند. دو شیوه برای نمره گذاری پیشنهاد شده است.
پس از وارون کردن نمره گذاری گویه های "برون ریزی" و " نادیده انگاری"، جمع کل و سپس میانگین 16 گویه محاسبه شود.
یا هر برای هر خرده مقیاس زیر جداگانه میانگین محاسبه شود.
Exit: 1‚ 8‚ 12‚ and 16
Voice : 2‚ 5‚ 9‚ and 13
Loyalty: 4‚ 7‚ 11‚ and 14
Neglect: 3‚ 6‚ 10‚ and 15
بخش دوم
perceived partner forgiveness
How I React When My Partner Breaks the Rules: Part 2
All of us have expectations about how our partners should treat us. No matter how well-behaved your partner may be in general‚ from time to time he or she is likely to violate your expectations‚ or “break the rules.” For example‚ your partner may talk to a friend about something you think should have remained private; become sexually/romantically attracted to someone else; fail to support you when you’re upset; or say something that hurts you badly. Please use the following scale to indicate how you typically react to incidents in which your partner “breaks the rules.”
I Never Do This=0‚ 1‚ I Seldom Do This=2‚ 3‚ I Sometimes Do This= 4‚ 5‚ I Frequently Do This= 6‚ 7‚ I Constantly Do This= 8
In incidents when my partner “breaks the rules” I generally...
_____ 1)I keep as much distance between us as possible.
_____ 2)I get even with my partner.
_____ 3)I feel upset with my partner for quite awhile.
_____ 4) I assume there is a logical explanation for the incident.
_____ 5) I find it difficult to act warmly toward my partner.
_____ 6) I want my partner to get what he/she deserves.
_____ 7) I feel angry about the incident for a long time.
_____ 8) I believe my partner was not to blame for the incident.
_____ 9) I withdraw from my partner for quite awhile.
_____ 10) I make my partner “pay” for hurting me.
_____ 11) I continue to feel disappointed with my partner for a long period of time.
_____ 12) I assume my partner did not intend to behave badly.
_____ 13) I act as if my partner doesn’t exist‚ isn’t around.
_____ 14) I want to see my partner hurt and miserable.
_____ 15) I forgive my partner relatively soon after the incident.
How My Partner Reacts When I Break the Rules: Part 2
All of us have expectations about how our partners should treat us. No matter how well-behaved you may be in general‚ from time to time you are likely to violate your partner’s expectations‚ or “break the rules.” For example‚ you may talk to a friend about something your partner thinks should have remained private; become sexually/romantically attracted to someone else; fail to support your partner when he/she is upset; or say something that hurts your partner badly. Please use the following scale to indicate how your partner typically reacts to incidents in which you “break the rules.”
Partner Never Does This=0‚ 1‚ Partner Seldom Does This=2‚ 3‚ Partner Sometimes Does This= 4‚ 5‚ Partner Frequently Does This= 6‚ 7‚ Partner Constantly Does This= 8
In incidents when I “break the rules” my partner generally...
_____ 1) My partner keeps as much distance between us as possible.
_____ 2) My partner gets even with me.
_____ 3) My partner feels upset with me for quite awhile.
_____ 4) My partner assumes there is a logical explanation for the incident.
_____ 5) My partner finds it difficult to act warmly toward me.
_____ 6) My partner wants me to get what I deserve.
_____ 7) My partner feels angry about the incident for a long time.
_____ 8) My partner believes I was not to blame for the incident.
_____ 9) My partner withdraws from me for quite awhile.
_____ 10) My partner makes me “pay” for hurting him/her.
_____ 11) My partner continues to feel disappointed with me for a long period of time.
_____ 12) My partner assumes I did not intend to behave badly.
_____ 13) My partner acts as if I don’t exist‚ am not around.
_____ 14) My partner wants to see me hurt and miserable.
_____ 15) My partner forgives me relatively soon after the incident.
نمره گذاری بخش دوم: گویه های زیر وارون نمره گذاری شده و سپس میانگین 15 گویه محاسبه می شود.
Reverse code: 1‚ 2‚ 3‚ 5‚ 6‚ 7‚ 9‚ 10‚ 11‚ 13‚ and 14
شرح سایت روان سنجی: این ابزار بخشی از یک مطالعه طولی درباره روابط زتاشویی برای اندازه گیری بخشش است.
ابزار دارای دو بخش موازی است، یک بخش درباره خود فرد و بخش دیگر ادراک شریک زندگی از بخشش است. بخش نخست دارای چهارخرده مقیاس: "برون ریزی"، "بیان کردن"، "پایداری" و " نادیده انگاری" است.
Exit (α = 0.78)‚ Voice (α = 0.84)‚ Loyalty (0.79)‚ Neglect (α = 0.72)
چگونگی دستیابی
منبع و ماخذ
Finkel‚ E. J.‚ Rusbult‚ C. E.‚ Kumashiro‚ M.‚ & Hannon‚ P. A. (2002). Dealing with betrayal in close relationships: Does commitment promote forgiveness? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology‚ 82‚ 956–974.
forgiveness FinkelRusbultKumashiroHannon.pdf